Regret
by erm31323
Summary: Written for the Snakes and Ladders Challenge on HPFC. Albus Dumbledore has many regrets, but few make him feel as guilty as this one. Albus' thoughts the night he decides to return James' invisibility cloak to Harry.


**A/N - This was written for the Snakes and Ladders Challenge on HPFC Forum. I was given Albus Dumbledore as my first character. Hope you enjoy.**

**Regret**

**December 24, 1991**

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, fingers steepled under his chin as he contemplated the silvery, shimmering folds in front of him. It was time, he knew, time the cloak was returned to its rightful owner. He tried to convince himself that it was the thought of what mischief Harry and his friends might get into that was causing his hesitation, but he knew that wasn't true. Not that they wouldn't get up to things, he had no doubt that they, like the Marauders before them, would find many interesting uses for the object that lay on the desk. No, the reason Albus was hesitating had nothing to do with mischief and everything to do with regret.

He had many regrets, that was true. Albus didn't think that one could live for more than 100 years and not have at least some. And some of his mistakes had been larger than others, some more painful and disappointing, some more harmful and devastating. But there were few choices that he regretted more than the one having to do with the cloak lying on his desk. The death of his sister was one and his near seduction to the wrong side by Gellert Grindelwald another, but this one, this was nearly as difficult for him to face as the others.

He remembered the day he had decided to ask James Potter if he could borrow James' invisibility cloak. Albus was familiar with it of course. He was well aware of the numerous pranks that James and his friends had pulled off with it. Charlus Potter had used the cloak as well while he was a student, albeit not for pranking. No, Charlus had an altogether different activity in mind, one which involved Dorea Black. Courting was much more tightly controlled back then and Charlus hadn't liked the stiff rules about it, not to mention the anger of the Slytherins over one of their own dating a Gryffindor, even if he was a pureblood.

Albus told James that he needed the cloak for a mission, an important one for the Order. James was reluctant to hand it over and Albus couldn't blame him. James and Lily had just heard the prophecy, the threat to Harry so strong they were going into hiding under the Fidelius. Albus understood the hesitation, the cloak was one more layer of protection after all. But James was nothing if not a Gryffindor and agreed.

In truth there had been no mission at all, save his own. Having researched everything he could about the Hallows, Albus had concluded that the Potter's invisibility cloak was, in fact, the original cloak given to the third Peverell brother. And since Albus knew, without a doubt, that he held the Elder Wand, he was curious to see if there would be an interaction between the two, any hint of where to find the third, or any clue as to how they could be used against Voldemort.

And so James had handed the cloak over and Albus had done his research and tried his experiments and had come up empty-handed. There had been no indication that the two Hallows together were anything special at all, that they were any more powerful than they were separately. Albus had been disappointed. He had kept the cloak longer than he intended, hoping that maybe there was something he had missed. And then James and Lily had been murdered.

He rose from his desk and crossed the room to the small window. Staring out across the grounds into the darkness, Albus wondered again. If the Potter's had been in possession of the cloak, might they have escaped? If not all of them, perhaps at least Lily with little Harry. Albus knew from what he had found at the house, that James had died first, trying to defend Lily and Harry. Lily had run to Harry's nursery for some reason, instead of out of the cottage, and it was there that she had met her demise. There had been anti-apparition wards on the house, of course, but if anyone had gotten beyond the back garden they would have been able to apparate away. If she had had the cloak, would Lily have run from the house instead of going to Harry's room? Could she have gotten the two of them to safety?

That thought had plagued him for the last ten years. Albus did not usually give in to the "what if" mentality. It did no good, for one could not change the past, as much as one might like to. Perhaps it was because it was his own selfishness, his own vanity that had led to him having the object in question when it was needed by its rightful owner that caused Albus to dwell on that which he could not change. Perhaps it was the realization that while Harry had grown up removed from the fame that would have dogged him his entire childhood, his life had been far from perfect or happy or even normal. Or maybe it was the guilt that he felt when he thought that while Harry had to be orphaned to accomplish it, that the magical world had been spared ten years of Voldemort's wrath maybe for the simple reason that Albus held the cloak that night. And that a part of Albus was actually glad of that fact.

Voldemort was not gone for good, this Albus knew. Tom Riddle would try to return, maybe this very year in fact, given what was now hidden at the school. And Harry would not be ready to vanquish him, not yet. Albus would have to redouble his efforts at protecting the stone. Something more was needed and he was sure that the solution would present itself in due time.

Albus sighed and returned to his desk, contemplating the cloak in front of him once more. Picking up a quill and parchment, he pursed his lips in concentration, deciding on the proper message to enclose with the cloak. Harry would undoubtedly have no idea what it was, but Albus was sure that Ron Weasley would enlighten him. He smiled a bit thinking of the fortuitousness of the two boys' meeting at King's Cross. And then he began to write.

When he finished the message, he hesitated. Surely he should sign his name so young Mr. Potter understood that the gift was not sent in malice. But something kept him from doing so. After a few long minutes with quill still poised in the air above parchment, a drop of ink splattered the edge of the note, pulling Albus from his thoughts. He idly waved a hand and the ink spot disappeared. Albus folded the note and tucked it in with the cloak. A wave of his wand wrapped the gift.

"Heda," he called quietly and a house-elf appeared at his side.

"Yes, Headmaster Dumbledore, sir," the elf said.

"Please deliver this package to Mr. Potter's dorm room and place it with his other gifts," Albus requested.

"Yes, Headmaster sir," the little elf said with a bow and disappeared with a quiet crack.

Albus stood once more and walked to the window. He had not signed the note because it would not do for the Headmaster to show such favoritism to one of his students. It had nothing to do with regret.


End file.
